Confession #714

#714 141

My 8 year old Daughter has developed love thoughts.
My wife and I were shocked and disoriented about what we discovered about our 8 year old first born daughter.

She has this little exercise book where she ordinarily draws family members, flowers and write how she loves the family.
Yesterday my wife discovered a recently written page, painted with flowers and with love words to a named boy from church. The boy is about 11 and the children only meet when we are at church (before Covid 19).

She wrote words like; “I love you so much X…….. Our love is getting stronger………..if you want to die I will die with you………..if you want a baby girl I will give birth to a baby for you”…..

My wife threatened to beat her and later in confusion left it there and told the girl that she will be reported to dad (me) for a good beating.
After getting it I told my wife this is tricky we need wisdom from both God and those with experience in parenting. I have not talked to the child yet, we are praying and seeking your experienced wisdom.

I doubt the possibility of the children having talked to each other about love apart from playing together normally in groups.

The major concern is how we are going to manage our 8yr old girl who according to us has developed love thoughts towards the opposite sex too early.

May 31, 2020 |
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

That girl will be a great poet, Good writing g skills come with self expression on paper. It doesn’t really mean that she is in love with the boy. Give her different topics and see how she puts it on paper. Nurture that talent

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

At that age too young ,but know teach her to known abaut love without fear ,make sure you talk about right time for that, disadvantage of what she is thinking abaut, tell her there is time for every thing and those who mix them mast fail so she needs patients to succeed in future life.

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

Beating her and threatening her is not a solution… don’t instill fear in her… the mom should be friendly to her daughter… maybe she watches alot of movies…her friends that she plays with.. might also be an influence…@8 is a grown up girl,start talking to her for her better understanding

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

Your girl might have been exposed to adult movies,those words,she must have heard and seen and she is maybe trying to relate.kindly first ask if maybe she watched something she was not supposed to in the house or a friend’s house,then from there you will know how to deal with the matter

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

This is a normal part of the growing process(milestones)all she needs now is her mother and father to sit down with her and talk to her.ask her about this boy(train her to be open)and educate her about sex and boys and of course monitor her move.dnt beat her dnt scold her this is the time to bond with her so that when she gets to teenage she will be abit easier to deal with scolding or beating her will make her rebellious trust me

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

Your kid has just approached adolescent so quick and I advice you to take her through growing up as an adolescent and you should be worried about the fact that she wanna have a baby with the boyfriend so take her through teenage pregnancy and it’s effects else she might end up a victim.
It’s good you have seen this too early if you can’t address this issue please visit any youth friendly centre around you with her she will be assisted

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

Don’t be shocked,this kids of nowadays knows everything,I once received a call from my best friend (man)I said hello dear,long time I miss u”imagine my 8 years old was shocked n asks me “mum who is that,u don’t love daddy??when he comes I will tell him that u HV someone aside” nilshutuka we we!so don’t b shocked they know what’s love

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

I had a girlfriend in class one so relax. It’s nothing unusual there are those hyper-intelligent kids who can discern things at a very tender age. There was nothing we did unusual we just loved hanging around each other and our parents never had an issue.

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

First don’t beat the girl.just sit her down and talk to her about the relationship. Tell her it’s top early to have a lover at this age .let you parents be her friend and always talk about the boys of her age and what they can do to her.the girl is so young she don’t even understand what she means in that letter. She needs someone to take her through.having a boy as a friend is not bad but watch out their ways. Just talk to her She’ll understand. Especially the mum should be her close friend and that way She’ll be opening up for her .

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

At 8? That shouldn’t surprise you at all. You need to find out the age of the youngest mother in the world.

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

Take time with her, treat her well, buy her gifts and be close to her if you haven’t been.. You or your wife should not beat her..
Talk to her in a friendly manner when she is very happy, just use a soft tone and keep smiling while talking to her, involve her in some games she likes to play,, make her feel loved, slowly by slowly start asking her, she will open up and you will know the reasons behind that

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

It’s normal nowadays. Rem. These kids watch movies where such love is aired. Jst take time and talk to her by inquiring what her thoughts are as far as love to the opposite sex is concerned. Let her list the merrits and dimerrits of such relationship, weigh them and lastly make a choice. As she does that you try to chip in with more negative consequences. Be friendly but very firm.

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

Parents ..as much as we are busy hustling for the betterment of our future..let be there best friends..fit in there ages..do what they like doing most..we leave them lonely and just become there providers..that’s y they seek attention elsewhere…find me on my knees nikiendesha toys na my 3 old..find me nikicheza kalongo na my 9 old..find me Niki compete kudance na kuchambua soaps na my 15 old..these has made her to be free with me that hata about winks at her..she will come tell me..that’s where woman to woman talk comes in..the soaps are all about love affairs…I let them know that is a movie..in real life everything happens at the right time and age..they don’t have friends they prefer me..we quickly share house chores ndio tupate time ya kucheza..so try be close to your kids..that makes them feel belonging and open.

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

Psychosexually that stage is supposed to be called oedipous complex.You are lucky she it’s her agemates she has been attracted to.At that age girls undergo a process called p***s envy.They develop affinity for their fathers while hating their mothers.If such conflict is not resolved those girls later get to go for sugar daddies or become lesbians.
S****y talk to her abt the time not being right but don’t punish her.punishing will only lead to rebellion.

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

First things first..kipindi ya maria ❎ Nicklelodeon❎
Adult novels❎
Music other than gospel❎
Stick to cartoons on supervision.
Hapo ndipo ugonjwa upo. Then please as you approach her as her father, narrate a very scary story of a girl back in the village who loved a boy(you even know the larents and the name of the girl) and at night some animal came and ate her heart and that of the boy because children are not allowed to fall in love. End the story with a sad face

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

That’s your blood you know her better sit with her down talk to her explain to her in details the dangers of early love affair, download clips of those young girls who have suffered as a result of early pregnancy, let jher watch she will cry and understand you,she will know you love and care for her,then monitor her closely become her best friend in case of any challenge she will surely tell you because of the trust you will have build

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

Organise a fun activity with your daughter, her teacher, the boy and his parents and some of your daughters close friends. Make it very casual and talk about this issue in a very easy tone without mentioning the book. Then take measures to limit her exposure to digital adult contents and encourage her to watch age friendly content by watching with her and showing interest in such programmes. Let your wife start giving her love, sex and sexuality education openly in a free and friendly environment

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

Guys stop behaving like angels… Mlianza kucheza kalolongo mkiwa how old ; io n mchezo ya watoi tu n venye wamejua mapema kuandika than during our era… The best thing is to advise the kids about the dangers of early sex rather than being worried about their love life… Atleast uyu wako ana-groove na 11 year boy from church kuna wale wanakatiana na bodaboda mtaani

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

take a book and draw some pictures bt not boy and a girl, to draw her attention, whn she will get attracted thn tell her to draw hers, do it both for someday thn after seeing her reaction towards it, if she refuses to draw with you then knw that io maneno anajua, either she has seen other kids do it or the environment you live, kwengine tuombee watoto na pia tuache kuwa expose kwa mambo, they are good in copying, wanaweza kukuweka aibu, also ask the boy kwa upole au utume mtu, jst to ask hin, kama akiambiwa aoe hapo church anaweza oa nani, you will get where the problem is, Lifestyles zitatumaliza hi generation si mchezo, Mungu atusaidie

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

As parents you should not panic instead appreciate God for a such creative girl. First Your daughter has shown a talent in poet. It’s now your obligation to nature that talent as early as this. Secondly, try to access the freedom of your daughter, whom do they mingle with. Is the school of your daughter boarding or day school. What kind of teachers are in those schools. Lastly, how do you do your romance styles. Do you do in her presence. Hugging, kissing and appreciation words towards your wife in her presence that on is not the problem but do you do those other ones in her presence? In conclusion, some parents you like kidding with your kids by telling them your husband is so and so or your wife is so and so. And you get kama mnaishi kwa plot utapata the child starts developing that mind of love/hatred towards that other child whom you said is his husband or her wife. Also those people who our child mingle with they are one who might be teaching them this words. My recommendation

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

You watched Ringo last night?he has a son”Santi.. he’s in love in his class just listen how he handled his son on this matter.

Anonymous
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2021-01-13 21:31:30

Im not surprised at all, at class 3 i also wrote a letter to a boy in my class that i loved, this was in 2002 and i turned out to be a normal and respectful child, so don’t be very worried but with the current trends you can have a sit down and talk to her coz as a child she needs your guidance.

Anonymous
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