Confession #2531
It was 2019 when I f****d up my life. I fell in love. It was all good and fun until I lost my job. 1 month down the she was already getting really drunk and sleeping around with random dudes. I didn’t know about the random sex at first, but after few weeks I noticed change in our sex life.
She was all calm and loving before, but now she was yelling and talking back and answering questions as she pleased. It got to a point that I couldn’t take it anymore, I was visible depressed lost weight and become a little bit lost.
She tainted my name man, I couldn’t even visit my usual social places out of shame. I was losing it!! We got looked out of the house because of rent arrears which was now three months behind. This is where I become homeless. One of the most painful thing I have ever hard to accept. One day in the cold and hungry, I hard to look for a job, any job.
Githurai market come into mind. I went there one morning and saw dudes caring mzingos kwa mabega and got paid 50 to 100. Women normally don’t carry heavy loads and I dived in. The first few hours I hard 500 and it looked promising.
By evening I hard 700 but still nowhere to go more so because I didn’t know githurai very well. Pigaad maraondi at night and finally when back to the market and sleeped in those empty vibandaas. This went on for about 6 months and I was really stressed but I finally i accepted it as reality and somehow I felt better.
Those mungiki guys really helped me bdw. I will never forget those fellows, wish I could payback. It was two dreadful years in my life but I finally got a job. The interview clothes courtesy of those mungiki guys.
I can’t explain everything while typing on my phone but I have never recovered. I get occasional panics. I have this rooted fear for women that developed and I can’t seem to get out of my mind. Am tired of this self-awareness when am around women. I want to be comfortable, I don’t want to listen to their every word with fear and caution. I wanna benormal
Yes, counseling will be very beneficial for you.
It's sad what you've gone through and how I pray that you will overcome it. One thing that I'll udge is, don't get into a relationship before you recover. If you can afford councelling, please seek for it, it will help you big time. The fact that you were able to overcome all that you went through means you are very strong and can still be very strong.